Magic Necklaces

Titanium May Improve Life Performance for Athletes, Law Students

Professional athletes who wear vinyl necklaces embedded with titanium claim magical results from these medicinal fashion accessories.  The most popular necklaces in sports are titanium-vinyl, not gold.  The titanium allegedly stabilizes the body’s flow of electricity.  Scientists disagree, claiming that any effects from better body electricity is pure placebo.  Industry marketers point to the results of all-star athletes like Josh Beckett and Tim Lincecum, while skeptics point out that Matt Hasselbeck wears one but he sucks.

Skeptics and science aside, law students who also suffer from pain, lethargy, and slow muscle recovery have a new secret weapon.  If your hand feels a little heavier than it should when you raise it in class, and traditional law school remedies like alcohol and caffeine are not enough, $30 buys you a new cure-all necklace.  Don’t let the exam proctors worry you, the micro-globular-titanium-infused-wellness-jewelry is not an electronic device and can be worn during finals.   For the home remedy cheapskates, wearing your laptop cord probably won’t work, even though copper is a better conductor. 

Even if it is just placebo, your purchase adds to the popularity, which strengthens the mental effect.  Thus, the more people who buy one, the better it works, right?

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