And here come the 3Ls, ‘round the bend . . .
In first place, Crescendo Chris. He’s going out like a shrieking horn-blast. A proud sprint, head held high. Seemingly effortless in his final stretch, victory is nigh. A fine specimen, indeed.
In second place, Bookworm Betty. She spent more time preparing for this race than all others combined. Determination in her eyes, she squints ahead at the finish; she is a machine.
Lucky Lisa in third. Not the brightest glow-stick at the barn-rave, but she knows how to choose the proper route on a multiple-choice track. Lacks depth, but her favorite No.2 saddle has brought her near the top.
In fourth is Gunner G. Garfield III. His push points have brought him close to the top, but his impressive (incessant?) neighing can’t compete with pure, goal-driven success and actual talent. You’ll hear about his journey though at his post-race interview.
Fifth place is Carl Casebook, who has a hunch—literally. He has a hunch in his back from crouching over casebooks in his cave. He will never run like a fully evolved equine again, but he’s hobbling toward the finish line nonetheless like a charging Shetland pony.
Stinky Stan follows in sixth. Boy, does he stink. He focused all his time on this race and forgot to bathe. Perhaps he can break ahead a couple places—if only he can tail-swat away those flies.
Here comes Slacker Sandy in seventh. She’s running at about the pace we all thought she would. She even managed to not be in last place, even though she was late to the starting gate and forgot one of her shoes.
Nonchalant Nancy lags behind in eighth because she stopped to eat some hay and G-chat with her friend. She doesn’t care; her trainer’s the one who wanted her here. As long as she finishes, she’ll be fine.
And there’s Jerk Jim in ninth. He spent most of the race insulting those ahead of him. He’s got a pretty nice suit, but nobody seems to care at this point.
Immoral Ike has fallen to the back of the pack; he started strong but took a wrong turn after the first bend and has since decided he doesn’t want to run anymore. He’ll finish though, and you’ll see him networking on a Facebook page near you. Also, the after-race party is at his stall.
WHAT A RACE!
AND IT’S A PHOTO FINISH!
. . . now let’s hope they find jobs . . .