That’s My Brandon!

Note: I am extremely disappointed with USD’s former student athlete. You can read my story on the point shaving scandal HERE. Below is a more light-hearted approach to the scandal as an alternative to the healing process. Just remember, we are all innocent until proven guilty.

 

So a little birdie tells me that USD is in trouble because the best basketball player in its history got caught point shaving. OK, I admit it: That little birdie was my bookie. Even still, I am supremely disappointed with Brandon Johnson and crew for getting caught for doing what amounts to “‘getting’ money.”

Sure, Mr. Johnson may have allegedly taken five steps holding the basketball to get a traveling call. Sure, he may have allegedly shot an air ball that didn’t make it halfway to the basket. Sure, he may have allegedly had conversations after the game with tattooed-faced men. Sure, he may have allegedly requested that the team tailor sew pockets into his game shorts to hold his recently “found” money. Sure, he may have allegedly been suddenly able to help a struggling USD Law student with a part of his massive student loan debt. Sure, his family may have allegedly moved into a better house than Reggie Bush’s family. Sure, people allegedly referred to him as “the mechanic” because of his skill at fixing things. Sure, he allegedly wanted to pay $6 for a Six Dollar Burger at Carl’s Jr. Sure, UC Riverside allegedly put up a statue of him in honor of the school’s first victory in any sport ever. Sure, he allegedly was able to pay for everything on his date with a USD coed. Sure, Johnson may have allegedly scoffed at the idea of hiring a Cal Western graduate to defend him in his criminal trial because he said he “could afford USD or better.”

Brandon Johnson is innocent until proven guilty. He is my Torero Homeboy, and if I were on the jury it would take a serious compromise to my integrity to convict such an upstanding young man. I would need to see videotape of him shaking hands with his bookmaker, wearing his USD uniform and green contact lenses with dollar signs on them, smiling at the camera while his grandmother is there holding up his birth certificate and saying, “That’s my Brandon.”

This man is a hero to Toreros everywhere. Mr. Johnson is responsible for filling more seats at Jenny Craig than women looking to lose weight at Jenny Craig. Brandon Johnson has more points for USD than Donte Stallworth has on his driving record. Brandon Johnson takes more shots in a USD game than a Charger at Stingaree. Brandon Johnson has stolen more basketballs than all the current undergrads have stolen laptops in the LRC. Mrs. Grier was reportedly jealous at Mr. Grier spending time trying to improve his relationship with Brandon Johnson.

Let us all remember, Brandon Johnson did not kill any dogs, nor did he come onto unattractive hotel workers in Lake Tahoe casinos. He did not go up into the stands to punch a fan, nor did he try to fix a basketball game.

Oh wait, he may have.

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