Jury Box – April 2012 Edition

Some quotes from around campus!

“I made the mistake of going to too many bar reviews.  Any time you throw me, girls, alcohol, and a dancefloor into the equation, the necessary answer always has to be ‘embarrassment.’”

-Tim Jones, 2L

“Oh man, you’ll love this!  I remember it like it was yesterday.  I was in Civ Pro and the professor called on me.  I was sort of on Facebook, but he asked me about a particular Federal Rule of Civil Procedure.  He asked me which rule pertained to class actions, and I said Rule 32, but it was actually Rule 23!  No doubt you know that rule 32 is all about using depositions in court proceedings.  Boy was that embarrassing!  Oh, and then I pooped myself after I realized my error.”

-Anonymous

“I have never really been athletic, but when this cute girl asked me to be part of her intramural softball team, you don’t say no.  Keep in mind, I had just moved out here to San Diego and had zero friends.  Before our first game I hit the batting cages to shake off the rust, you know?  After a few solid hits in the cages, I feel like I’m pretty prepared.  So our first game comes around I walk out onto the field and everyone gives me this weird look.  I only found out after the police dragged me away: you apparently need to wear clothes when playing softball.”

-Billy McCalister, 1L

“I came to law school with high hopes.  But it soon became clear to me that after about a week of class, this just wasn’t for me.  I decided to bite the bullet and drop out.  Yeah, that was pretty embarrassing.  Luckily, I didn’t really get to know too many law students, though, and I also didn’t rack up huge mountains of debt.  Currentky, I’m the CEO of a new internet startup that just sold a new ap to Apple for $25 million.  Oh, hey, how’s law school working out?”

-Andrew Jameson

“I had to go from the first floor of Warren Hall to the third, so I took the elevator.  You know how slow that thing is, right?  Well I had just finished some delicious Tu Mercado food–they always get my order right–and it made me a bit gassy.  But I was alone in the elevator, so I let out a little, well, gas.  Of course, the elevator stops on the second floor, and three other people get in.  I am pretty sure that because the doors opened, the smell kind of dissipated, and I averted the crisis.  Whew!  High five!”

-Gary Robbins, 3L

“One time, I got on that elevator in Warren Hall and this weird dude had a weak smile on his face.  I wasn’t sure what was up, but then it hit me.  The death-fart.  Naturally, I’m a girl and don’t fart, but just being around that situation was hands down the most embarassing moment of my law career thus far.”

-Amanda Avaya, 2L

“When Justice Scalia came in to speak at USD, I was one of the lucky ones that got to ask him a question.  Looking back, ‘Do you think the Constitution is a living, breathing document’ was a pretty big waste of everyone’s time.”

-Jesse Kapowski

Disclaimer: This article is for comedic purposes only and is not to be taken seriously… at all.  It’s April Fool’s.  All names, places, happenstances, happenings, unhappenings, and all references to M. Night Shyamalan’s ”The Happening” are for the use of parody and did not actually happen.  No matter how much we wish they had.

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