Not Again.

Oh gosh. We’re back.

If you’re a 1L, welcome to the most formative year of your life.

2Ls, welcome to the world of extracurricular activities.

3Ls, why are we still here? Seriously.

So the first week of school is officially over.  I remember at the end of my summer job thinking about school starting up again, and mentally stating “OK, so this is my final year of law school, I’m finally going to really devote myself to studying.” But then Monday came, and I decided to start season 1 of Breaking Bad on Netflix.  Oops.

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a lovely time adjusting back to the never-ending reading assignments, whacky professors, and stress of having to juggle work and school and everything else it is that we do.  As you reorient (or introduce) yourself to campus, make sure to keep your eye out for the following:

1.)  Parking spots.  Do you see them?  They’re everywhere.  Now be fully prepared to erase these images from your memory.  It’s only a number of days until the undergrad students flood in and initiate a Olympus-Has-Fallen-like taking of our parking rights.  What’s worse is that we don’t even have Gerard Butler to come in and save the day.  What’s even worse is that instead of North Koreans, our enemy is a mass herd of blonde Barbie dolls and bros.  What’s even worse is that I can’t even say “it won’t be pretty,” because let’s get real, it will be. (See what I did there?)

2.) People walking around in suits.  If you see a student in a suit, he or she is one of three characters:

  • (a) the person with an OCI interview  [socially acceptable];
  • (b) the person with a job which requires him or her to dress professionally [also socially acceptable]; or
  • (c) the person who dresses up because they are “in law school” and are “trying to be professional” and are “trying to establish a good reputation” [not working][1L][tool][stop.]

3.) Pizza. Everywhere. Me getting fat. Everywhere.

4.) People who were in your section 1L year but who you never actually met.  You will cross paths with such individuals and you both will wonder whether or not to say hi or to keep walking.  You will never have identical reactions.  And it will be awkward.  Every time.

5.) People walking up and down the aisles of the LRC.  If you see someone walking up and down with a blank stare on his or her face, he or she is either a cite checker (sucker), a 1L doing a primary research assignment (sucker), or a homeless person (me in 2 years.)

I bet if you look hard enough, you’ll be able to spot at least 3 of the 5 items on the aforementioned list.  Guaranteed.  It’s fall, people. Welcome back to law school.  Now hit the books.

(…but don’t actually because I want to watch more Breaking Bad without having to worry about the curve.)


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